How to Say “No” & Preserve the Relationship

How to Say “No” & Preserve the Relationship – June 7

In this program led by negotiation expert Martin Latz, participants will shift their mindsets and behavior from instinctive to strategic based on experts’ proven research. Next time you face a situation, you will systematically think about which strategies to use and have a framework within which to approach it. How you say “no” will then be based not only on your own experience, but collective experiences of the best negotiators in the world and on the most up-to-date research.

• Introduction – The “Family Negotiation Story”

• Participants’ Challenges in Saying “No”

• Discuss Latz’s Five Golden Rules in How to Say “No” & Preserve the Relationship,

   – Information and Interests are Key – Don’t jump to “No”
   – How to Explore Mutual Interests
   – Ways to Open Up and Share More to Strengthen Relationships

• Prepare a Strategic Plan to Say “No”
   – Individually select an example
   – Prepare a Strategic Plan based on taught elements to say “No”

* Discuss Latz’s Five Golden Rules in How to Say “No” & Preserve the Relationship,
   – Understanding the Meaning of “No”
   – When to Say “No” and When to Say “Yes”

• Continue to Prepare a Strategic Plan to Say “No”
   – Prepare a Strategic Plan based on taught elements to say “No”

• Negotiation Ethics – Part I, including discussion of Stalking Horse Scenario and its:
   – Morality – is it right or wrong?
   – Ethics or Legality – does it cross the legal or ethical line?
   – Effectiveness – does it work?

• Discuss Latz’s Five Golden Rules in How to Say “No” & Preserve the Relationship,

   – Powerful Standards that Lessen the Negative Impact of “No”

• Prepare a Strategic Plan to Say “No”
   – Individually prepare a Strategic Plan based on taught elements to say “No”

• Negotiate One-on-One Exercise

• Debrief Exercise, focusing on:
   – Elements that worked well, not well and how to improve in the future

• Discuss Latz’s Five Golden Rules in How to Say “No” & Preserve the Relationship,

   – Ways to Frame a “No” with a Yesable Offer
   – Language to Psychologically Make Them Feel Good When Hearing “No”
   – When to Involve Others in the “No” Conversation
   – How to Control the Setting to Improve the Relationship
   – Impasse-Breaking Strategies if You Say “No” You Reach Impasse

• Prepare a Strategic Plan to Say “No”
   – Prepare a Strategic Plan based on taught elements to say “No”

• Negotiate One-on-One Exercise

• Debrief Exercise, focusing on:
   – Elements that worked well, not well and how to improve in the future

• Negotiation Ethics – Part II, including discussion of
   The “False Promise” Scenario & its:

   – Morality – is it right or wrong?
   – Ethics or Legality – does it cross the legal or ethical line?
   – Effectiveness – does it work?

Martin E. Latz, Esq.
Latz Negotiation Institute, AZ

6 CLE / 6 CME / 1 E – Wednesday, June 7; 9:00 A.M. – 4:30 P.M.

– ICLEF Conference Facility, Indianapolis

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Wanzer Financial

5th Annual REALity CLE, May 4-5: The Real Aspects of Running a Successful Law Practice

5th Annual Reality CLEA Unique Retreat for Attorneys That Drive in the Small Practice Lane as Well as Those New to the Practice of Law!

We are excited to announce that the Reality CLE program is back for 2017 with fresh new content! Join your fellow small firm colleagues on May 4-5, 2017 at the Crowne Plaza Airport for two energized days packed with valuable information you can put immediately to use in your practice.

To help you manage your budget, ICLEF has again arranged a special low tuition rate for everyone, which includes lunch on the first day, refreshment break service throughout, printed and electronic materials for all sessions, 14.5 hours of CLE credit (including 4.25 hours towards ethics) and FREE parking.

The Lawyer’s Compass: Character, Ethics & Trust for the Small Law Office
Lawyers are different. Our role in society in general, and the legal system in particular, places great responsibility in our hands. Our ethical rules call upon us to exercise that responsibility in a manner that differentiates us positively in our modern world. The Lawyer’s Compass presentation focuses your attention on the critical interplay between your character and competencies and how they combine to build trust in client relationships.  In particular, you will:
• Learn How & Why Trust is the Primary Driver of Success In the Attorney/Client Relationship & in Your Practice
• Discover How Your Character is Derived from Your Values & Actions
• Learn Professional Competencies That Will Help You Quickly Build Trust in Client Relationships
• Discover a System for Identifying & Managing the Four Expectations That Every Client Holds in Every Engagement
• Explore How We Derive Congruence, Satisfaction & Contentment in Legal Practice
• Build Your Own Lawyer’s Compass to Guide Your Efforts in Building Future Personal & Professional Fulfillment & Success

“Nuggets of Brilliance” with James J. Bell

Business Development Tool Kit For Your Practice
• Branding & Ethics
• Staying Connected with Clients & Referral Sources
• Social Media Presence – What Is Effective & Ethical?
• Dos, Don’ts, and Best Practices
• Endorsements and Testimonials

The “Business Aspects” of Practice in the Modern Digital Age
• Is Your Website ADA Accessible? Are You Sure?
• Systems for Time and Billing, including Online Billing
• Organizing the Flow of Work, Proper Use of Legal Support Staff
– i.e., not crossing the line into the unauthorized practice of law
• Client Communications
• Office Manuals

How To Effectively Use Technology In Your Practice

Things You Don’t Normally Think About, But Should
• Unexpected Medical Leaves
• Planning for Vacations
• Disaster Preparedness
• The Insurance Checklist (including Professional Liability Insurance)
• Cyber Security
• Should You Consider Expanding Your Practice?
• Planning for When You Retire – What happens next to your practice?
• E-Filing, now what?

Don’t Forget the Fundamentals!
• Business Structure and Type of Entity
• How to Share Space
• Types of Bank Accounts Needed
• Credit Card Processing
• Real Estate Issues for Law Firms
• Protecting Your Assets
• Running an Office on a Shoestring Budget – Successfully!

Golden Nuggets: Practice Ideas & Pointers of the last 12 Months
– A Reality CLE Tradition!

Plus: “Open Mike” time for sharing collective wisdom for the good of the cause

Sessions I & II (Select Two)
A. Family Law
B. Wills, Trusts & Estate Planning
C. What Every Law Practice Needs to Know About Labor & Employment Law in Managing its Own Practice and Staff

Sessions III & IV (Select Two)
E. Criminal Law
F. Contracts Drafting, Structure and Analysis
G. Don’t Be Afraid to go to Trial!

Planning Team
Elizabeth A. Justice – Chair
Attorney at Law, Crawfordsville, IN

Rebecca W. Geyer
Rebecca W. Geyer & Associates, PC, Carmel, IN

F. Anthony Paganelli
Paganelli Law Group, Indianapolis, IN

Frederick W. Schultz
Greene & Schultz Trial Lawyers, Bloomington, IN

James J. Bell
Paganelli Law Group, Indianapolis, IN

Ryan H. Cassman
Coots, Henke & Wheeler, P.C., Carmel, IN

Jessie A. Cook
Law Office of Jessie A. Cook, Terre Haute, IN

Kyle C. Gillaspie
Chief Staff Attorney, Indiana Court of Appeals, IN

Betsy K. Greene
Greene & Schultz Trial Lawyers, Bloomington, IN

Hannah Kaufman
Joseph Katz & Korin, PC, Indianapolis, IN

Meghann E. LaBadie
Law Office of Meghann LaBadie, LLC, Highland, IN

Richard A. Mann
Richard A. Mann, P.C., Indianapolis, IN

Jeffrey C. McDermott
Krieg DeVault LLP, Carmel, IN

John E. Moore
Law Offices of John E. Moore, III PLLC, Vero Beach, FL

Lora R. Mount
Voelz Law, LLC, Columbus, IN

Amy K. Nowaczyk
O’Drobinak & Nowaczyk, P.C., Schererville, IN

Kimberly S. Robinson
Law Office of Kimberly S. Robinson, Indianapolis, IN

Frederick W. Schultz
Greene & Schultz Trial Lawyers, Bloomington, IN

David L. Swider
Bose McKinney & Evans LLP, Indianapolis, IN

Paul J. Unger
Affinity Consulting Group, LLC, Columbus, OH

Patrick H. Wanzer, CPA
Wanzer Financial, Indianapolis, IN

14.5 CLE / 4.25 E – Thursday & Friday, May 4-5

– Crowne Plaza Airport Hotel & Conf. Center, Indianapolis, IN




Wanzer Financial


We express our sincerest thanks to the Indiana Bar Foundation
& Wanzer Financial for their support of the Reality CLE program!

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The Court of Appeals Remands for a New Consent Hearing, Noting Trial Court Erred by Denying Mother’s Due Process Rights.

Family Law Case Review

Case: SR v. MJ
by Mike Kohlhaas, Bingham Greenebaum Doll

HELD: Trial court erred by denying Mother her due process rights when, at the beginning of a hearing to determine whether Mother’s consent was required for an adoption of her child, the trial court did not afford Mother with her right to counsel, or to ensure that Mother was knowingly and voluntarily waiving same.

Mother and Father had Child together in 2009. Paternity was established, and orders were issued for custody, parenting time, and child support. Father was awarded custody. Mother apparently had a problematic relationship with alcohol that resulted in legal and other problems. There was some dispute about the amount of contact Mother had with Child thereafter.

In 2013, Father remarried Stepmother, who became the primary caretaker of Child. Stepmother later filed a petition to adopt Child, reciting that Mother’s consent was unnecessary due to Mother’s abandonment and failure to support. When Mother received notice of the adoption proceeding, she filed a pro se objection.

In 2015, the adoption court held a consent hearing. At the outset, Mother requested counsel. After inquiring as to Mother’s financial condition, the adoption court determined that Mother, who made $10/hr at one job and $7.50/hr at another, had sufficient income to pay for an attorney and therefore Mother had made a “voluntary choice” to proceed without counsel. The hearing proceeded. Stepmother presented her case, including testimony from Stepmother and Father. Mother made no cross-examination.

At some point during Mother’s case-in-chief and testimony, Stepmother expressed an objection that the trial court, from Stepmother’s perspective, was asking questions and participating in the hearing as though advocating for Mother. As a result, the court continued the hearing and appointed counsel for Mother.

The adoption court began the next hearing, at which Mother appeared with appointed counsel, by announcing that this was not a “new hearing,” but would pick up where the earlier hearing left off. Mother offered more of her own testimony.

After the hearing, the adoption court concluded that Mother’s consent was not necessary for the adoption, citing Mother’s insufficient contact with Child. The court later granted Stepmother’s adoption as in the best interests of Child. Mother appealed.

The Court of Appeals noted that a parent whose parental rights are subject to termination in an adoption proceeding has three rights: (1) the right to be represented by counsel; (2) the right to have counsel provided if the parent cannot afford counsel; and (3) the right to be informed of the first two rights.

The Court of Appeals disagreed that Mother had voluntarily proceeded without counsel, as she requested counsel as soon as she learned that court-appointed counsel was a possibility. And, despite finding Mother was able to afford counsel, the trial court did not afford Mother an opportunity to acquire counsel or encourage her to do so. The adoption order was reversed and remanded for a new consent hearing, for which Mother should have counsel for its entirety, absent a knowing and voluntarily waiver by Mother of that right.

To view the text of this opinion in its entirety, click here: SR v. MJ



James A. Reed and Michael R. Kohlhaas of Bingham Greenebaum Doll represent clients in a wide spectrum of relationship transition and wealth planning matters, including premarital agreements, estate planning, cohabitation, separation, divorce (especially involving high net worth individuals and/or complex asset issues), custody, parenting arrangements, adoption, and domestic partnerships. Bingham Greenebaum Doll, a multidisciplinary law firm serving regional, national, and international clients, is the fourth-largest law firm in Indiana. The firm’s main practices include corporate, property, litigation, labor, government law, and personal services law. Visit the firm’s website at

ICLEF • Indiana Continuing Legal Education Forum, Indianapolis, IN

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PASS+ Unlimited CLE! One Year, One Low Price!







Become a better lawyer with the ICLEF PASS+!  The PASS+ is your ticket to convenient & affordable ICLEF CLE programming!
With the PASS+ you get…

100% OFF
• Over 80 Live In-Person Seminars
Including Advanced Masters Series Seminars & National Speaker Seminars

• Over 40 Live Group Webcast Seminars
Including National Speaker Seminars

• Over 500 Video Replay Seminars

• ACCESS to ALL ICLEF Electronic Publications

Plus, 50% OFF
All ICLEF Live Individual Webcast Seminars

All ICLEF Online/On-Demand Seminars


All ICLEF Printed Seminar Materials


$ 895.00 – PASS+
$ 695.00 – PASS+ for New Attorneys (3 years or less from admission to bar)

Click here to go to the registration page.


Q: I purchased my ICLEF PASS+ in March, does it expire in December?
A: Yes. Your ICLEF PASS+ expires at 12:00 A.M., December 31, 2017. So, be sure to take full advantage of ICLEF’s programming throughout the calendar year.

Q: My ICLEF PASS+ is expiring, and I wish to register for a seminar after 12:00 A.M., December 31, 2017. Will you allow me to register?
A: Once your ICLEF PASS+ expires you must either purchase a new pass or pay the regular tuition to register for a program that is taking place after 11:59 P.M., December 31, 2017

Q: May I share my ICLEF PASS+ with another attorney?
A: The ICLEF PASS+ may only be used by the original, individual purchaser.

Q: We have a number of attorneys in our firm that attend ICLEF seminars. Do you have an ICLEF FIRM PASS+ program?
A: We are considering adding a FIRM PASS+, but by using the ICLEF PASS+, your firm will see substantial savings for your CLE dollar.

Q: With my ICLEF PASS+, may I attend an ICLEF Live In-Person Seminar or ICLEF Live Group Webcast as a Walk-In?
A: If space is available, Yes. We ask ICLEF PASS+ holders to pre-register for all events. If you wish to attend as a Walk-In please call or e-mail ICLEF at least 24-hours in advance of the program to make sure space is available.

Q: Will I receive notification prior to my pass expiring?
A: No. All ICLEF Pass+ holders benefits expire at the end of the calendar year. However. Look for further CLE discounts available EXCLUSIVELY to ICLEF Pass+ Holders.

Q: Will I receive a physical card indicating that I am an ICLEF PASS+ holder?
A: No. ICLEF will track your status electronically. If you purchase the ICLEF PASS+ online you will receive a receipt for your purchase, but we will not be sending you a physical card.

Q: How many Live ICLEF seminars may I attend during my 12-month ICLEF PASS+ period?
A: Once you have purchased the ICLEF PASS+, you may attend an unlimited number of programs and ICLEF hopes you take advantage of our quality and relevant CLE. This includes ALL ICLEF Live In-Person Seminars, ALL ICLEF Live Group Webcast Seminars & ALL ICLEF Video Replay Seminars (note exclusions listed in the Terms & Exclusions). We simply ask that you pre-register for each Live seminar that you wish to attend.

Q: If I do not use my ICLEF PASS+ during the year, will ICLEF provide a refund for my unused pass?
A: No. Once purchased the ICLEF PASS+ is yours. ICLEF will not refund the purchase of the ICLEF PASS+.

Click here to go to the registration page.


Terms & Restrictions:
A very small number of our programs are excluded from the ICLEF Pass+. Those include: 40-Hour Mediation Training Courses (Family, Civil & Crossover), Annual Elder Law Institute, Bankruptcy Advocacy Training, ICLEF Out-of-Country Trip and CLE program, ICLEF Trial Advocacy Skills College (TASC) & Indiana Law Update (Video Replays of Indiana Law Update are included in the PASS+). Keep in mind you have access to over 80 Live & Group Webcast Seminars and over 500 Video Replays.

The ICLEF PASS+ expires on 12:00 A.M. December 31, 2017.

All ICLEF Seminars are “Limited Seating” events. ICLEF PASS+ holders must pre-register to ensure a seat at the program. ICLEF Pass+ holders may only walk-in to an event on a space available basis.

Passes may not be transferred to another person, nor will refunds be given for a pass once purchased.


ICLEF • Indiana Continuing Legal Education Forum, Indianapolis, IN

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